Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
