my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
