People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
