I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
