No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
