for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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