I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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