If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
