I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
