He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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