So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
