Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
