guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
