Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
