So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
