This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
