I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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