I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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