I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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