i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
