It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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