Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
