I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
