I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
