We're facebook friends in real life
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
