She is in my trunk
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
