No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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