I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
