just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
