you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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