I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Enjoy the penises
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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