girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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