Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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