Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
