what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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