she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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