The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
