The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
