He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
