Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are we still banned from the library?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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