she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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