I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
