yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
