Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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