I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He told me they were just razor bumps!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
