What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
