once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
