remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
