i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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