You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
