Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
