Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
