It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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