i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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