just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
