i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
