I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
