Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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