piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
