We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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