Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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