do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Less talking, more tequila
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
