the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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