The maid of honor just puked.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize