when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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