shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize