Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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